Rainpal: Fancy a rain wiper for your motorcycle helmet?

Bikers are generally known to be tough, adaptable. Places where “normal” human beings struggle to walk, we slide our bikes and call it fun. When the weather gets tough and “normal” people cancel plans to stay indoors, we wake up and ride into the storm.

We probably have worms in our brains.

In the 4 years I spent riding around Mumbai, those 3 months of God’s diarrhea tears every 12 months were such a huge pain in the ass. I don’t know why people say Cherrapunji is the wettest place in India, it’s Mumbai you morons! Who gives a shit about a place where barely anybody lives? It might as well have unicorns falling out the sky and leprechauns masturbating to jingle bells while erotically asphyxiating themselves with Christmas hats, nobody is there to see it, it doesn’t matter. Mumbai on the other hand, a city of 900 trillion people, 600 quintilian pigeons and 190 sextillion black & yellow cabs, matters.

As I may have mentioned a few times before, I can’t see shit. I wear contact lenses, on top of which I wear goggles, on top of which I wear my helmet. Unless it’s a perfect 26 degrees, cool breeze and shining Sun, I’m fog fucked. When it’s cold or raining, I usually have to open my visor a bit to keep riding. I try not to stop as much as possible, because things are fine as long as I’m moving. It’s kind of a weird situation, I know the fog will go away if I cross 70 kmph, but I can’t see enough to go beyond 7 kmph.

Apparantly, a UK based company has a solution.

Rainpal is basically a wiper for the motorcycle helmet visors. I’m sure many of you have joked about one to your fellow riders, but some bloke called Adam Aarons actually went ahead and made one. Strange world.

Here are the basic reasons for why I think this thing might work.

1. It’s not just a piece of rubber going around your face, it’s smart. There’s a water reservoir, like you have in cars, but much smaller, that can be used to spray the visor first, before the wiper starts.
2. The manufacturer claims that not only will it keep rain away, it’ll take care of fog too. Their theory sounds good, but practical testing is needed.
3. It appears they’ve tested it till 160 kmph, which is overkill for rain riding.
4. At roughly 5000 rupees, it’s not cheap, but for the purpose it’s built, that cost is justifiable. 
5. They’ve already raised some 5000 Pounds on the funding website, so people obviously understand it’s useful.
6. They claim 1 year warranty. Yes that sounds too good to be true, international returns will be painful.
7. They claim you can attach/detach this thing in seconds.
8. With constant use, a life of 2 hours is predicted, which is not bad at all. They have replaceable batteries too, and charge via USB.
9. Optional wireless controls can be mounted on the handlebar to keep your hands free for, well, riding.
10. Comes with hard carrying case.

Here are the reasons why it might not.

1. At 150 grams, it sounds light, but anyone who has attempted to mount any superlight action camera on your helmet will know that’s not true. It’s possible that due to the weight bearing down from the visor, there’ll be some top to bottom movement on bumps.
2. It’s a pretty thin device but even so, aerodynamics are important. You don’t want wind buffeting to chop your head off. They have tried to clear any doubts about that via a document, but I read it, and it’s fucking confusing. Take a look for yourself.
3. We all know helmet visors are more delicate than Rapunzel’s clitoris, so dust scratches are an obvious thing to be afraid of. The manufacturers claim, in the same breath, that no scratches will happen, but if you are still scared, put tear-offs on your visor.
4. Apparantly, it’s engineered in India and manufactured in China….
5. They do seem to be overemphasizing on the fact that it’ll not come off the helmet, no matter what. It sounds a lot like when dictators say they’ll not murder million of civilians.

A bit too British?

Apparently the shit is patented.

Overall, I still have doubts about the authenticity of the whole thing. For example, why is their funding campaign not on Kickstarter or Indigogo or some other well known site? Also, their presentation feels like it’s been done by the same guys who make those “Increase your penis size by 5 inches” ads.

In any case, here’s where you can buy one. If you do, tell me too.