Is Xbhp dead?

As a forum, Xbhp has been dead for years.

As a Castrol-powered unit of Covid super-spreaders, touring the country at the height of the pandemic, and flooding Instagram with cringeworthy dance videos, Xbhp has never been more alive.

This is a photo from their Krishnagiri meetup on 22nd March.
New Covid cases in India on 22nd March: 40,715

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This is a photo from their Mangalore meetup on 30th March.
New Covid cases in India on 30th March: 53,480

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This is a photo form their Ahmedabad meetup on 7th April.
New Covid cases in India on 7th April: 1,26,789

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The right question to ask here is not “Is Xbhp dead?”, the right question to ask is “How many people are dead because of Xbhp?”.

The blame game

The first thought that comes to my mind is, who is responsible for this fuckery? You might think it’s the main dude, Sundeep Gajjar, but I do not believe that to be the case. That man already has a full-time job, to gradually transition into a semi-sentient clown. No hairstyle is too ridiculous, and no sunglasses too stupid, as he conquers new heights in looking like an absolute dick.

Unlike most other internet forums I’m aware of, Xbhp has always been unusually focused on a single man. The point of a forum is that random people who share some interests get together and have a good time, and that is how Xbhp started. It quickly became Gajjar’s personal bitch however, I remember joining the site some years ago, and being nauseated by finding the entire point of the operation to be “Look at how fucking awesome this guy is”.

Which is why the forum is dead, populated only by the occasional squid asking about top speeds, or the old timer who just wants some attention on his travelogue. Xbhp is nothing more than the founder’s penis enlargement drug, which is why it holds no intrinsic value in the motorcycling ecosystem.

However, precisely because it’s a meaningless promotion of one man and how much he can embarrass himself on the internet, Xbhp is very popular on social media. And because we live in a post-brain society, being popular on social media is enough. He is not entirely to blame for this, you need money in this world, and it’s far easier to make money on Instagram than from a website.

This Road Trip United bullshit is just a way to make some sponsorship money, meeting people on the way and spreading the virus around is just an unintended side-effect.

A community of simps?

Should we blame the people who actually go to these events, and then take maskless selfies standing centimeters from 10 other dudes? Yes, yes we should. I have only been to 2 Xbhp meetups in my life, once in Mumbai and once in Hyderabad, both years ago. Both times I left them wondering why the fuck I just wasted 60 minutes of my life.

I went to the meetups because I had friends who were going there, that’s it. It was an absolute shitshow, but at least there wasn’t a pandemic raging around which can only be stopped by people not getting together in large groups and coughing into each other’s throats. What sort of a person would want to go to such an event at such a time?

The only explanation I can think of, are simps. Pre-pubescent dudes who are somehow turned on by Gajjar’s peacocking. That has to be the only reason right? Why else would you want to ride to a place during a literal plague, watch as some made-up awards are thrown around, and then take random photos of people who don’t give a single shit about you? You are giving them your time, while getting absolutely nothing in return, apart from maybe a Covid positive test result.

At least Twitch streamers can’t give a disease to you online, not yet.

Somehow this is our society now, brainless zombies going to silly events, while risking a global catastrophe, only so that they can post some Insta story and feel less empty for a few seconds. Nobody looks for value anymore, a few likes and a comment from a bot is enough.

Or is it the sponsors?

I don’t entirely get what Castrol gets out of Xbhp, they’ve been a sponsor since as far as I can remember. Does Xbhp help sell engine oil? I really, really doubt it. There are 2 types of engine oil buyers, those who know what they need to buy, and those who don’t.

Those who know what they need to buy are usually enthusiasts, the kind of guy who only uses Motul 7100 fully synthetic to jack off. Watching The Motographer pour some Castrol all over his tits isn’t going to make that guy buy Castrol over Motul.

Those who don’t know what they need to buy are usually commuters, your Splendor guy who asks the service center to only top up the 50,000 km old engine oil and not replace it. Xbhp doesn’t exist for that guy.

I don’t see who Castrol are able to target here, maybe the newbies who’ve just got into biking and don’t know shit? But do they even have money to spend on fancy oils?

Maybe it’s all about the other plague called “brand awareness”. Castrol don’t care where they dump their marketing budget, as long as they think enough number of people are seeing their brand name next to big bikes with sad sticker jobs.

I have never understood the sponsorship and advertisement universe, but to me Castrol’s investment into Xbhp seems like a punch directed at their own balls. Watching their hashtags associated with hundreds of posts of people breaking the rules of social distancing, and basic human decency, makes me want to puke.

Castrol is not alone here though, ostensibly Xbhp is being sponsored by Kawasaki, Triumph, TVS, and every bloody hotel they stay on this trip. The whole thing sounds like a grift to me, take money from anyone, and sing praises for them on your social media. This is the new normal apparently.

What can I do?

Nothing really, this is the world we live in for some reason.

Because there will always be enough simps around, Xbhp will continue to be popular. Because it’ll be popular, it’ll continue to rake in sponsorship money. Because it’ll continue to rake in sponsorship money, it’ll continue to rape motorcycles around the world.

Humanity has somehow decided that it’s not important for you to treat every minute of your short life as a precious asset that must be spent with thought and care. As long as you’re able to distract yourself from how stupid everything is, by being stupid yourself, that’s time well spent.

Xbhp is a sad reminder of a good idea, ruined by ego and idiocy. Unfortunately, their actions will have consequences more dire than just annoying one silly little blogger.