Dear “Dear George” writer, fuck off

I would like to begin this article by extending you an olive branch, and invite you to unfuck yourself by gently sliding your fist out of your rectum.

I understand why you are doing what you are doing, I have done it myself, here’s one example. My work against Lorenzo might be a bit more logical than your imaginative bitch moans, but I believe we agree as far as the general sense of direction goes.

More importantly, it pains me to admit that I recognize in you a lot of the things I once was, and it is slightly embarrassing to be suspected that I am the man behind your Facebook page. We share some sarcasm, a twisted sense of humor, and the ability to connect seemingly far-fetched things to prove a non-existent point. I would like to think that I have outgrown your level, but it is easy to overrate oneself.

Now it’s time for you to go ahead and do your favorite thing, a little bit of lube might help, or perhaps you prefer saliva or some other natural bodily fluid. Feel free to use the olive branch I gave you in the beginning as well, there’s no shame, it’s a victimless crime.

My aim in this article is to show you and the people who keep sharing your posts why you deserve none of the attention you are attracting. I would try to keep my arguments as straightforward as possible, but I think we both know it’s much more fun to do the wrong thing.

It’s easy to do what you are doing

It doesn’t take a genius to pile hate on Lorenzo, he is clearly not a likeable guy. He doesn’t give a shit about fans, rarely ever smiles, and has orchestrated some remarkably boring races leading every corner, every lap. It is even easier to dislike him considering the other options available. Rossi attracts fans like Manson attracted groupies, Marquez is popular both on and off the track, and then there’s Pedrosa, who can only be described as the second coming of Jesus.

All you’re doing in an elaborate version of high-school bullying, picking on the one the popular kids hate.

I’m not impressed, and I don’t really understand why so many others are. The only skills required to do what you are doing are:

• A beating heart
• Slightly below average IQ
• A childhood of neglect and abuse, coupled with a head that’s been in the toilet too many times

It goes without saying that you have no obligation to impress me, just like Lorenzo has no obligation to impress you. I am writing this to question the judgement and taste of the people who sit on their knees, mouth wide open, head tilted back, waiting for your pus and blood filled ejaculations.

Your opinion is irrelevant

You are not Casey Stoner, you are not Colin Edwards, you are not Troy Bayliss. I know that because none of them are balding, jobless, twice-aborted online trolls like you, believe me, I checked. From the little I’ve read of you, you come off as someone who not only doesn’t understand what MotoGP is about, but has very little knowledge of sports in general.

The mere act of creating a Facebook page and writing some clever nonsense about someone doesn’t exactly prove your qualifications for the task.

On a similar note, who the fuck is George? I don’t know of anybody in the current MotoGP field by that name. Either you call Lorenzo that because you have no idea how Jorge is pronounced in Spanish, or you are too much of a pussy to use his real name.

My guess is you are from America, because in only that country it is possible for any random turd to stand up and start explosively vomiting words about things he clearly doesn’t understand, while also gathering hordes of redneck supporters who can’t tell bestiality from incest.

Your methods are counter-productive

I’m assuming that the reason you setup the Facebook page is to demoralize Lorenzo, maybe irritate him, get inside his skin. You seem to have completely forgotten that this guy has lived his entire career in the shadow of Rossi, has been booed on podiums, criticised at every step. He thrives on this negativity, loves to give the middle finger to butthurt fans, and steps on little shits like you to reach the top of the podium.

If you really want Lorenzo to fail, praise him, love him, suck his dick or give him a rim job. This man is fuelled by the desire to prove everyone wrong, everyone who thinks he can’t tame the Ducati, everyone who feels he’s not as good as Rossi. You can remove his motivation by being nice to him, what you’re doing right now is only feeding Cthulu.

On a similar note, why would you want Lorenzo to fail? Do you actually wish that a man as talented as him should no longer be able to fight for the win? Don’t you want races like this? Do you really wish that the one guy you jack off to should win without a fight?

I wish that the MotoGP guys should fight like the Moto3 kids do, 5 should go into corner side by side and rough each other up. For that to happen, you need highly skilled people who won’t do a Maldonado in every race. Legends are made not just by the skills of the legend, but by that of the one who fights him as well.

A wise man once said that sports exist for the sole purpose of teaching people to hate other people they don’t know for no reason.

Your followers are pathetic

Most of your followers are Rossi fans. Rossi has this unique ability to make people love him, and more importantly, hate others who are not him. His allegations about the Marquez-Lorenzo relationship didn’t help things, nor does the fact that he has never publicly asked his supporters not to spew hatred on Lorenzo or Marc.

It’s such a disgrace to hear the cries of booing at the end of a race, your page is basically an online version of the same phenomenon.

It’s crazy to find such widespread support for what is essentially cyber bullying. What do these morons even like in your work? I know all too well that fucking up someone’s day is a very rewarding experience, but there at least should be some logical reason to justify such depravity.

At the end of the day, MotoGP is nothing more than entertainment, a show, a theatre. You’re gonna have your heroes, and there will be villains as well, but the intelligent viewer understands that it’s all good business, wishes for some memorable fights, and takes nothing too seriously.

You are being a fucking coward

Let’s for a moment assume that everything I’ve said till now is objectively wrong, we are still stuck with the fact that you have to hide behind Gigi to do your thing. What’s up with that? What are you afraid of?

If you have something to say, at least let us know who you are so we may judge your ability to say those things. What’s the worst that could happen? Ducati might sue you, Lorenzo might send you a legal notice, Dorna might send SWAT to your mom’s basement. I would think that would be an improvement on your existence right now.

As someone who has been sent legal notices from time to time, I would like you to know that it’s not so bad after all. If anything, that helps you get more publicity, although the first few times can be a bit nerve wracking.

Keep the imaginative stories, no problems with that, but at the end of the post just leave a link to your Facebook profile, or any other place where we might get some idea of what dungeon you’ve crawled out of.

In case you are wondering why I wrote this piece, I did it because nobody else seems to have. I ignored you in the beginning, because as Richard Dawkins says, acknowledging your existence is equivalent to giving you the oxygen of respectability. This article will have the unintended side-effect of making some people be aware of you whose lives were until now untouched by the cosmic catastrophe that’s you. However, things were getting a bit too irritating for me, and someone had to tell the world that this is all monumentally stupid.

I’ve said what I wanted to say, and you are now free to extricate your arm out of your ass and move onto your second most favourite thing, sucking your thumb.