Video Vednesday: Crash videos kick ass

I hope I crash soon.

I never really had a major spill till date. On my first bike, a Pulsar 150, I had 2 falls in some 40,000 kms. The first one was on the second day I got the bike, and I simply dropped it while making a U-turn. I swore so loudly the neighbors came out thinking I was giving birth.

The second one happened during a night of Chandigarh rains. I was going out to meet some friends, and there was a left turn ahead of me. I had to keep going straight, and that’s what I was doing. Out of nowhere this fucking Wagon R comes crashing onto the main road. As he kept coming onto me, I tried squeezing my bike into the turn, I was too quick to stop straight in time. 

There was slush on the turn.

The front locked, and I went flying over the handlebars like Superman. Luckily, the road was empty for those precious few seconds. I remember watching the road below me, slowly coming in closer, and then me finally hitting it like a frog, on all fours, and then running for a few meters like a deranged dog, before remembering I’m human and standing up straight.

I didn’t fall, technically. Unluckily, one of my contact lenses was thrown out during the acrobatics. It slid out under my helmet, onto the bike, and then laid itself square in the middle of the road. By the time I realized I couldn’t see shit, the lens had already been run over into fine dust.

On my second bike, the Duke 390, I have never crashed in the 40,000 kms it has done. When I say I haven’t crashed, I mean the handlebars have never touched the ground, even if I had to break my right wrist to keep it that way.

But I hope it happens soon, I really want it to, for a number of reasons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GM0wsQiN2M

If you are like me, you have trouble sleeping the night before a ride starts. If you are like me, you spend that time doing the most ridiculous thing imaginable. Intuitively, it might seem like a bad idea to watch a bunch of people die on motorcycles right before you plonk your own ass on one, but there’s more to it than meets the eye.

I’ve seen too many crash videos, so much so that I know the result of every impossible motorcycling shitstorm that you can possibly get yourself into. 

The easiest way to know something is to watch someone else do it. Crash videos kick ass because if you are smart enough, you can learn how to keep your face from grating on the asphalt, while sitting naked and covered in pizza on your couch. But as much as I enjoy watching other people suffer, I want to get in on the action as well.

Crashing is good because it keeps your confidence in check. Riding safely has a lot to do about your trust in yourself, but too much of that trust, and you end up without enough brain capacity to comprehend the meaning of trust.

Crashing is also good because it removes that “new bike”feel out of the equation. When you are riding, your mind should be clear, focused. When I am on a new bike, I so scared of making a mistake that I am barely able to concentrate. Thankfully, our roads and public is so fucked up, that within a week or so your “new bike” is covered every kind of foul-smelling material that can flow out of any animal orifice, plus a few scratches and dents.

And that is awesome, because it’s one less thing to worry about. But in case that doesn’t happen, you know what to do. Don’t worry about not having enough balls to get back on the bike again. If you don’t have them, better to stay away anyways.

Wherever you are, wherever you are from, if you are reading this, I, with all the deepest feelings of my heart, hope that you crash soon.