99, 93, 46, and the art of raping numbers

I was getting engaged, in a small temple, surrounded by nobody beyond immediate family. Illegible words in a familiar fashion were magically spawning out the Pundit’s mouth, while he randomly asked us to spray water on some bananas with a bunch of grass.

I was bored, almost sleepy, when out of nowhere the dude looks at me and says 

Picture in your mind your favorite deity, your guru, someone you respect. Think of them, sing with me, and throw this rice into that plate over there.

Well, fuck. I gave up religion a long time ago, so I don’t have any deity. I never understood the concept of a Guru, you rarely learn anything of great importance from someone else’s words. So who is it that I respect?

Valentino Rossi.

I almost burst out laughing, controlling myself just enough to look decent. My brain was working overtime to find someone else and stop the madness, but all I got was more images of Rossi saying “I puuus very aaard”.

So yes, I’m a Rossi fan, but I’m not signing any shitty petition to repeal his penalty, nor am I riding on a random day to get justice for him, because I’m not a fucking moron.

It is also common knowledge that I’m no fan of Lorenzo, and have written some shit about him that I’m not really proud of. I also have always disliked Marquez’s “style”, but I’m not the one creating photoshopped memes of them being in a homosexual relationship, because I’m not a fucking moron.

It’s just a sport!

It’s absolutely hilarious when people take a sport, and then attempt to inflate it into something that’s actually important. I’m a biker, I love bikes, my life revolves around them, but even I can clearly see MotoGP for what it really is, a game.

MotoGP, F1, cricket, baseball, football, and porn serve one purpose and one purpose only, to momentarily distract you from the shitstorm that is your life. Any attempt to turn this entertainment into life and death fanaticism is idiotic, and immature.

I’m neither qualified enough, or interested enough to analyze what happened at Sepang and try to put blame on someone. The best piece of journalism I’ve read about that incident is here, and there’s absolutely no need to add to it.

What I will add to is the constant rape of numbers that’s been going on since Marquez tried to kiss Rossi’s knee slider. Lap times, championship points, vote numbers, decade old stats, number of laps, possible scenarios, impossible scenarios, penalty points, grid positions, and the number of hair on Lorenzo’s butt, people have discussed the shit out of something that needs none of it.

The thing that I hated about Cricket is fucking with what I loved about MotoGP.

There’s no need to overthink what happened at Malaysia, let me tell you the whole story in one fucking sentence.

Marquez fucked with Rossi, so Rossi fucked with Marquez. 

The only difference in that Marquez’s fucking was legal, Rossi’s was not, which is why you have the penalty points.

Nobody knows for sure what really happened, not even Rossi and Marquez. There are moments where shit just goes down, and all you can do later is laugh about it. What you are reading and seeing are opinions, biased, judgmental, pointless opinions.

But it’s fun.

It’s fun to share your opinion, even more fun if you know you are trolling, but the problem happens when people actually start taking you seriously.

Rossi is a multiple world champion, one of the highest paid sportsmen in the world, with fans in every corner of this planet. You don’t need to feel sorry for him, he doesn’t need your support. Marquez is just 22 years old multiple world champion, if he was born in India, he’d have just started drinking legally. Lorenzo is a man with no childhood, because his dad decided that he’s going to be a multiple world champion someday.

These are people who have dedicated their life to racing, they understand it far better than you or I ever will. Let them do what they need to do, sit back, and enjoy the show.

Race Direction and Mike Webb know far more shit than you or I ever will, trust in their judgement, not that it matters.

Don’t convert MotoGP into a saas-bahu flick. Don’t take sides. Don’t vomit all over the internet even when you don’t know the whole story. 

Who am I kidding, we all know that’s not the way the world works. Here’s a collection of some of the memes in my Facebook stream. Get inspired, make your own, post hate speech about people for whom you don’t exist, sign Changer.org petitions that nobody cares about, ride for this cause because fuck other people on the road, jack off and sleep, because that’s what life is all about.