Coastal Karnataka ride – Friends, freedom, fucktardery!

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Coastal Karnataka Ride – Day 1 – Mumbai to Karwar (720 kms)

Right, so where were we? Ah yes, starting from the McDonald’s after Pune city following a pancake binge party, that stuff is tasty! Before we get there, let me share with you an incident that happened that very morning, an incident that explains why our traffic is so insane. I started from my room around 5:50 AM to meet AD in front of Ghansoli McDonald’s (yes there are far too many of them, I LIVE next to one for fuck’s sake). I was fueling up at the only 24-hour station nearby, when 2 guys on an R15 pulled up behind me.

I’m quite used to people asking about the bike. They started talking and asked if this was the 200, I said nopes this is the 390. Then they wanted to know the horsepower, something that most people don’t really care about. Both of them had no riding gear, no helmet, and no shoes either. I filled up, they filled up, and I was just about to go when the rider asked me:

Do you want to race? 

It took me a while to understand what he was trying to say. Here’s a guy who I don’t know, who I randomly met at an ungodly hour, who is carrying a fucking fat pillion on his bike, and he has so little to do in his life that he’s ready to do anything to prove that his cock isn’t as small as it really is. I was so shocked I didn’t even have a good comeback. I just muttered “Umm no man I’m going somewhere”.

Sachin is a celebrity: 

Anywho, fast forward to the ride and all 6 of us were nice and connected on Scala, which is rare, apart from Puneet, who doesn’t have a Scala, and who for some reason was riding a few miles behind everyone else. This was probably the most chaotic group ride that I’ve ever been to! Generally Sachin leads the way and everything stays in a tight looking bunch, but probably because of the bad roads and the pillion behind him, he was rather slow, which prompted Shrey to go berserk, which lead Max to follow Shrey, all of which had nothing to do with AD who always rides like he is being intermittently followed by the Police. I tried my best to follow Sachin, but then Puneet joined the party as well, at which point I also joined in on the madness, since that road was feeling exceptionally boring that day.

Lunch was nice!

I don’t remember much till we took that turn near Hubli, apart from the initial bad roads, the final good roads, and the street racing that happened in between. We stopped a few times for rest and water and pee, and took a lunch halt at Nipani. Between the not-so-tasty food and the oh-so-tasty cake brought by Max, quite a number of weird things happened.

Puneet’s chain was loose, so I pulled out the tools from my bag and went to work. A guy walked up to me and asked from where I had come. I said Mumbai. He put his hand on his mouth like I’d just pulled my beating heart out my chest. He asked where I was going. I said Karwar. He was so shocked that people on motorcycles can do more than 50 kilometers a day! I didn’t tell him I’ve done more than a 1000, or he probably would’ve had a cardiac arrest.

The second thing that happened is one that we’re kinda used to now. Some arbitrary guy shows up and recognizes Sachin Nair, at which point we all just stand aside and bath in the tsunami of his majestic glory. I was cleaning my helmet inside the restaurant, when a dude came up and asked

Is that Sachin Nair?

I almost burst out laughing, but then controlled myself and told him he was correct. They turned out to be pals from some Ninja 650 group. The world is a really small place, but it’s ridiculously tiny if you’re traveling with Sachin. Really gotta learn the tricks of being a likable guy from him, I totally suck at it.

The final dash:

After we left the beautiful Pune-Banglore highway and took a turn for Yellapur, the roads also a took a turn for the worst. Every damned 100 meters there would a giant speed bump, which would be completely unmarked and would look like the shoddy grave of a really overweight guy. It didn’t make any mathematical sense, we still had to do about 200 kms more to reach our destination.

Even with no unnecessary stops and a better-than-brisk pace throughout the day, the Sun was fast going to sleep and I was getting fucked. The entire route was through a dense forest, which further reduced the available light and creating some spectacular mirage effects. On top of that there were some really tight curves, which were only complimented by some really moronic drivers. I was wearing dark goggles, which were further covered by the dark helmet visor. It felt like midnight.

One of the rare moments when all were together.

Spot the human in this picture 🙂

As if that wasn’t enough, everyone, including Sachin, went into race mode like I’ve never seen them do before! I was left far behind, so decided not to stop to change the visor. I was given company by Max and Puneet for some brief moments, in one of which I witnessed Max do a giant fishtail due to oil on the road! I myself had 2 close calls while overtaking. In one instance I didn’t even notice the giant truck approaching from front, until it was standing 10 feet away from my face. Hairy stuff.

I finally did something sensible and asked Puneet to stop, at which point we took some photos, changed the visor and then moved on. The last 70 kms were done in total darkeness, on a very dangerous ghat, while being pursued by an asshole of a Honda City driver. He was following me within millimeters, through every turn, always on my right side looking to pass. I was completely pissed off and blocked his way for 20 odd kilometers. Then we slowed down and he passed us, only for another asshole of a Swift driver to show up. With the high beams of the oncoming trucks and the high beams of the cars following me burning through my mirrors, my eyes were riddled with holes by the time we were done.

A Ninja saves the day:

Finally made it to Karwar! Oh what relief, I was really frustrated after the shit storm we had to pass through during the day. We stopped just in front of Karwar city, where’s Max’s uncle was waiting to pick us up. I thought he had come walking or something, and would hitch a hike on somebody’s bike. But then he and Max had some discussion, and both of them started walking in different directions, I was like WTF?

Then I heard the sweet burbling Akrapovic sound of a Ninja 250!

I love bikes with melodic exhaust notes, probably because my own Duke sounds as nice as a cross between an auto and Anu Malik. I hate loud things, people, parties, or bikes, and this Ninja had the most perfect combination of sound and soul. All 7 bikes were in line traversing through the bylanes of Karwar, and everybody stopped whatever they were doing and looked at us! Max told us if we’d informed the right people of our arrival, press would’ve been there to report on us and our machines. Opportunity missed?

The machines enjoying some rest in the courtyard!

Kick ass home food!

Sir Lord Mr. Kitty waking up from the majesty’s slumber.

After a few jams and turns, we finally made it! Parked our bikes in the courtyard and I was the first one to strip down to shorts. The house we stayed in was old, like 50 years old! Immaculately maintained though, we didn’t really feel its age until we were told about it. I felt really happy at NOT being the only vegetarian guy this time as Shrey gave me company and we ate gorgeous home made food. We were talking bikes all the time, which probably bored our hostess and Manisha, but what else do guys know how to do better eh?

The struggle to sleep:

Sachin and his lugai were given a separate room for the night as the rest curled up on the drawing room floor and couch. It had been a long day, and it was going to be a long one tomorrow. We had discussed if we should just chill out in Karwar and then head back home, or should we aim for Udupi and see other places on the way. After a lot of “What if?” and “Let’s do this” and “Fuck you!” we finally decided to stick to the plan and go for Udupi.

The EXACT moment we knew we were screwed.

As everybody tried to get some sleepy time, suddenly the ghost of Sachin Nair jumped in through the door! Like I’ve said before, Sachin is only stable as long as he is on his machine, and I don’t think I’ve seen him this unstable ever. Everyone was up, listening to his disgusting Hindi songs as he sang/parodied along, and laughing till they were foaming at their faces. After that uncalled for refreshment session, we all said good night and hoped to have a good day tomorrow, details of which I’ll share in the next chapter! See ya.

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